calledmegentle: (once a queen)
She doesn't let them have time alone together, usually. Always makes sure there's some sort of crowd nearby-- her family or the Friends or the people attending the party she's dragged him off to.

Because if she's with him, then the memories she tries to keep buried fight all the more harder to remember, and when she's alone with him, things get even worse.

But she can't stop it. There are simply moments when they can't help but end up alone together-- like this one here, with the two of them almost touching hands as he walks her home. The moonlight makes the park they're cutting through look almost like another world, and she can't be angry, at this moment. Can't not let the love she still feels-- towards the man at her side, towards the land they've both left behind, even towards the Lion that brought them here-- bubble forth.

Her hand lifts to touch his elbow softly,"Caspian. Can we stop a moment?"
calledmegentle: (gentle queen)
 All of Narnia is home. More than England ever will be, more than England ever can be. Even after a thousand years, Susan still can't help but love the land; feel entirely like she's where she belongs.

It's just that some parts of Narnia feel more at home than others, and this place in particular is one that always felt the most like it.

She's always looked upon it with wonder, and it's not something that changes now, the words escaping her lips in a soft, somewhat-awed breath.

"Cair Paravel."
calledmegentle: (a beauty unparalleled)
 When Aslan had called her and Peter aside to speak with Him after lunch one morning, Susan had felt her heart drop to her stomach in dread. She knew-- or suspected, really-- what the Lion was going to say, and she didn't want to hear it. Wanted to flee from him as though not hearing the words would make them any less true.

But she and Peter had agreed to the meeting nonetheless-- easily and calmly, in Peter's case; hesitatingly in hers. She'd avoided meeting Caspian's gaze the rest of the time up to the meeting, afraid of what her eyes may say. Afraid of what his might.

She couldn't help but ask as soon as she and Peter and Aslan were alone if this was the end. If He was sending them back for good, this time. The Lion had looked at her with a knowing expression as Peter's breath had caught beside her-- Her elder brother clearly had not thought of that possibility, or at least had not let himself think it.

When Aslan said yes, she thought she was going to break in half. When He clarified that it was Peter's last time, she couldn't breathe for the shock of it. Peter had asked why, and the Lion had informed her brother that he had learned all he could, but that she had an opportunity here she would not be able to have in their home. 

More was said, then, both to Peter and herself, and she absorbed it as well as she could. Her heart ached for her brother, and she'd embraced him when the conversation ended before letting him go be on his own for a time to process the news and figure out how to break it to their siblings.

She was sorrowful for the fact that she would lose him, and likely not see her other two siblings again for some time, if at all, and the tears that filled her eyes at the thought of it made her a little blinded as she made her way to think on her own.

But at the same time, the tears in her eyes were also ones of relief. She was going to be allowed to stay, to be home.

To love as she had been trying to hold herself back from.
calledmegentle: (Default)
For all she had learned in both her lives about the signs and symptoms, in the end it was-- of course-- the most worrying of signs that revealed the truth.

The first dizzy spell hit after a day of riding and going out to visit some of the nearby towns, as she was wont to do. It's been busy, and she'd neglected to bring a waterskin for the ride back. So, when the wooziness hits as she gets off her horse and she finds herself needing to support herself on a now very concerned-looking stable boy, she brushes it off to him and her guard as dehydration. It's a perfectly acceptable reason, one with past basis, so they all part ways perhaps a little shaken but largely comforted.

The second hits three days after that, when she's gets up too quickly off the ground after an early-morning bout of nausea drives her to the bathroom. It nearly gives Caspian a heart attack, but she tells him it must be some kind of bug-- she has been feeling a little off, lately-- and promises she'll take care.

Two more queasy and vertigo-filled days, and then she passes out while hurrying to a meeting with some Lord or another. The healer tells her with a tsk of her tongue when she awakens that it was likely due to the quickened pace and heat, and really, Her Majesty ought to know better than to expose herself to either when in her 'condition.'

That, of course, leads to Susan asking what exactly her 'condition' is, which has the healer beaming as gleefully as a Cat can and informing her that she was carrying the heir to the Narnian throne. She nearly passes out again at the news, recovers herself, and is asked by the healer if she wants her to tell the King when he gets back from his ride out to Littlehollow.

"No," Susan says, shutting her eyes and rubbing her temples unconsciously, "Don't tell His Majesty. I want to break the news myself."

Naturally, Aslan would will it that Caspian walk into the room-- early returning from his ride, but likely word travelled that she'd collapsed and he'd rushed back-- just as she speaks the words.

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calledmegentle: (Default)
Susan Pevensie [Slight AU]

October 2014

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