if we are to judge of love by its consequences [for snarkking]

[calledmegentle]

By the time dawn breaks, the Splendor Hyaline is well away from Calormene shores. Though she knows that the more time passes following the sun's rising, the more likely it is someone will come to look for her, but Susan doesn't want to deal with feeling the eyes of the crew on her, with sensing the tension she knows will be in the air from the concern that they'll be followed, and so she remains holed up in her cabin. There's a nook she can sit comfortably in that allows her to stretch her legs and lean her face against her window, and anyone who enters would be able to tell from the stillness of her posture and the untouched nature of her bedcovers that she hasn't slept a wink.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knows she should go out and face the day. But she can't quite bring herself to move from where she has been contemplating all that's happened and all that may come to pass.

She'll not notice, at first, when Edmund knocks.

Comments

[snarkking]

No matter. He'll just knock again before turning the doorknob and letting himself in. He'll do it a little more loudly than usual, just to make sure that she can hear him come in.

"Susan." He doesn't say anything else - just approaches her to sit near her feet.

[calledmegentle]

It takes her a few moments but eventually she shifts her head to look at him, manages a wan smile that doesn't reach her eyes.

"Hi, Ed."

[snarkking]

"Want to talk?" he asks, leaning his head back again the window. "Or we can not talk."

[calledmegentle]

Her own head leans back against the window with a soft thunk and a heavy sigh.

"...I'm an idiot."

[snarkking]

"Nah," he says, giving her a crooked smile. "Try again."

[calledmegentle]

"A fool, then," she replies, running a hand through her hair tiredly, "I should have known better than to let myself get pulled in by flattering words and good looks." Goodness knows she's not let herself fall quite like this before.

"And now Narnia may be at risk because I didn't stop and think."

[snarkking]

"I respectfully decline, your Majesty," he retorts with a little scoff. "You think Narnia wouldn't be at risk with a man like Rabadash sitting on the throne next to us?"

[calledmegentle]

"Well, I certainly didn't have to speed things along," comes her answer, and she gives him a look at the use of the title that clearly isn't amused.

But then the expression falters into something far more upset, "This is all my fault."

[snarkking]

"How is it your fault that's he's the rudest, most arrogant man ever to be born?" Ed demands, nudging her knees. "Don't be stupid, Su."

[calledmegentle]

A thin smile, "You're far too forgiving, my dear brother."

Or maybe she's just not as good at forgiving herself.

[snarkking]

"No, I'm just sensible. You're not helping anyone or anything by blaming yourself. If I'm being totally honest, you're worsening things by being so self-deprecating. Now, of all times, Narnia needs four Kings and Queens, Su."

[calledmegentle]

"...You're right, of course," she sighs after a moment, reaching to squeeze his hand with a touch of a rueful smile on her lips, "When in the world did you get to being smarter than I am, hm?"

[snarkking]

"When you started to think such ridiculous things, of course," he retorts with a smile, holding her fingers tight. "Don't worry - I expect you'll grow out of it eventually.

[calledmegentle]

"Eventually," she echoes with a grin, and it almost looks like this one will stay for a while-- except it doesn't quite. Her eyes drop from his and move to gaze out at the water again.

"...I really did like him quite a bit, you know."

Which is what makes it hurt more than it should.

[snarkking]

"That's okay," he says, shrugging a shoulder. "We don't always like who we should. I should know better than anyone, yeah?"

[calledmegentle]

"That's true," she agrees, reaching to squeeze his knee carefully, "I just wish I could not like him sooner."

So that it didn't ache as much as it did.

[snarkking]

"You know, at least you got away from him. I was stuck with Jadis even when I finally figured out I wasn't the biggest fan of her. It'll be easier for you than it was for me." He can talk about it. It's fine. Really.

[calledmegentle]

Maybe it's fine. Some days she isn't so sure. Right now, that means she's going to keep her hand resting sympathetically on his knee.

"Thank Aslan you didn't let me go alone," she murmurs with a crooked smile, "I don't believe I'd have been able to get out of that mess nearly as well without you."